In their inimitable ways, stand-up shows from Zoe Lyons and Lucy Porter may be hard to swallow – one with its daring jokes and the other offering the chance to eat gold – literally BY BEN McPARTLAND Ever eaten gold before? Well, if not then it might

In their inimitable ways, stand-up shows from Zoe Lyons and Lucy Porter may be hard to swallow - one with its daring jokes and the other offering the chance to eat gold - literally

BY BEN McPARTLAND

Ever eaten gold before? Well, if not then it might be worth buying a ticket to see Lucy Porter perform her new stand-up show.

Pocket-sized Porter, a regular TV panelist, will offer a member of the audience a chance to digest some real-life gold dust, which apparently has its own E number (E173), helping them to increase their value dramatically, well, until the next toilet trip at least.

The stunt is part of Porter's latest acclaimed show Fool's Gold, where she discusses in detail the entire history of the precious metal from King Midas and the Aztecs right the way through to Jimmy Savile and his dodgy love of bling.

The 36-year-old is one of a duo of award-winning female comedians coming to the Bloomsbury Theatre, near Euston, in April.

She appears the day after Zoe Lyons, who is touring with her own critically acclaimed show Miss Machismo, which is not for the faint-hearted.

Among her topics are the urinary habits of lesbians, gay penguins, arming elderly people and the Pope's take on gender blurring.

The 38-year-old won the respect of the comedy world - though not arch-feminist Germaine Greer - when she scooped the award for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival's funniest joke last year, voted by Dave TV.

It went a little bit like this: "I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her."

It appears Ms Greer was unable to raise a chuckle and was quoted as says the gag was "astonishingly vicious", which Lyons naturally took as a huge compliment.

Lyons has managed to impress more important folk in the comedy world, picking up a 2007 If.Comedy best newcomer nomination for her debut solo show Fight or Flight.

The same year, she was honoured with an invitation to become a patron of Pride, joining a select group of luminaries including Stephen Fry, Sir Elton John and Sir Ian McKellen.

She also won respect from other quarters after eating rats live on TV during the show Survivor.

Lyons has also appeared on popular TV show Mock The Week where Porter has also impressed.

But for Porter, it is gold and everything about it that is occupying her mind.

As the title of her show Fool's Gold suggests, the comedian gives her personal take on the subject and why humans have become obsessed with it - a topical subject in the middle of a deep recession.

The show is a musing on the nature of value and the ways in which we delude ourselves about what is important.

Serious questions are addressed such as why has gold inspired such mediocre TV shows like Eldorado and Going For Gold?

Porter promises her show will be "full of factual nuggets based on a glittering bed of wit, warmth and laughter" and the opportunity to eat some of the stuff. It might be worth taking some Rennie just in case.

Lucy Porter is at the Bloomsbury Theatre on April 9 - the day after Zoe Lyons takes to the stage. For tickets and information, call 020-7388 8822.