Ray Parlour was as shocked as the next man after reports Arsene Wenger screamed at his players at Anfield last Sunday. The former Arsenal midfielder told TALKSPORT: In eight years I can honestly say he only ever shouted at us all once – we were 5-1 down

Ray Parlour was as shocked as the next man after reports Arsene Wenger screamed at his players at Anfield last Sunday.

The former Arsenal midfielder told TALKSPORT: "In eight years I can honestly say he only ever shouted at us all once - we were 5-1 down at Man Utd and it was only half time, so fair enough. I think him and Fergie had been winding each other up too..."

And you can take the boy out of north London, but Arsenal will always remain in a Gooner's heart - just ask Kinks singer-songwriter Ray Davies.

The 65-year-old Muswell Hill legend told THE TIMES MAGAZINE: "I am a Londoner through and through - it is the one thing I can't change about myself.

"Wherever I am in the world on a Saturday night, I find myself wondering how Arsenal have got on."

On the transfer front, Gregory van der Wiel has issued a blatant come-and-get-me plea to Arsene Wenger amid reports in the Netherlands Arsenal are monitoring him.

The Ajax defender told DE TELEGRAAF: "It's nice to read that Arsenal are interested. I consider myself a good fit for the Premier League.

"Robin van Persie has told me many good stories about the Premier League, Arsenal and Mr Wenger, so maybe he can put in a good word for me."

And news of a fairytale deal for the often injured Theo Walcott.

THE SUN reports the glass-ankled attacker has signed up with a top publisher - as a children's author.

He plans to write tales on a hero schoolboy called TJ.

"Books played an important part in our family life as I was growing up," explained TW.

His first book should hit the shelves in April.

And finally, our old mate Jens Lehmann is under-fire in Germany after being sent off for lowly Stuttgart last week.

His old nemesis Oliver Kahn told Munich paper AZ: "Perhaps it is better for him if he retired now. Who knows where this will lead now? He is not helping the situation."

Lehmann also raised eyebrows recently when he, ahem, 'watered' some greenery behind his goal before having to rush back between the sticks.

Go to YOUTUBE and search for 'Jens Lehmann macht Pipi' ...